Undeniable Fact: I was going bananas!

Friday, October 13, 2006

I feel that I should apologize for yesterday's post. While all of the information was technically factual, the manner in which it was presented was entirely unprofessional and inappropriate. Although I am not one to make excuses, there is a logical explanation for my odd behavior: I was having a psychotic episode.

Here's what happened. I had bought some bananas a few days ago, and I had left them in the window to ripen. Before I got around to eating the last banana, it was quite ripe, and knowing the dangers of overripe bananas (strychnine poisoning), I brought it in away from the window. I placed it on top of my microwave, not realizing the peril that lay in such an action, and didn't give it another thought. Yesterday afternoon, I ate that banana, and, well, you know the rest.

As it turns out, placing a banana on top of your microwave and then running the microwave for around 40 minutes (total), apparently causes powerful psychoactives to be produced within the fruit. I brought the unfinished banana into the lab at the Foundation for Research Advancing Unexplored Disciplines, where I help out in my spare time (you can thank RAUDFound for some of the more impressive Undeniable Fridays ... including today's!), where the good people in the Spectral Analysis Department are working on solving the mystery. I've seen their initial results, and let me tell you: it looks pretty bleak.

While the effects of the compromised banana are completely harmless, and almost unimaginably pleasant (the word euphoria comes to mind), I feel obligated to warn my readers away from trying this themselves. This is a drug, and as everyone knows, drugs are bad.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Ted said...

damn, now i want a banana...

6:06 PM  
Blogger nepawoods said...

You really didn't have to explain about the post. I think we all had it figured out.

8:31 AM  
Blogger Edward Hansen said...

Actually studies show that bananas + Microwave waves can cause a toxin in the banana, that progresses evolution! Maybe you spoke in some advanced language.

7:24 AM  
Blogger not said...

dan, try to be a little more subtle. you'll be giving it away and people will know. people who already know will get bored. which leaves a very lonely site

9:00 AM  

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